▲ From this LA Times article.
MACHINE: You have reached the Pilotless Drone Wrongful Death Hotline. For service in English, press or say one. For service in Spanish, press or say two. For service in Arabic, press three. Urdu, four. Pashtun, five. Farsi, six. For all other languages, please visit your local consulate.
M: Was your loved one a US citizen?
W: Yes, he was from New Orl—
M: Was your loved one on active duty in any branch of the US military?
W: No, he worked at McDonald’s.
M: Did the incident involve an illegal border crossing?
W: No! He was on his way to work.
M: Did it occur on US soil?
M: Was this a moving violation?
W: He was speeding when it—
M: Please say ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Was this a moving violation?
M: Enter the GPS coordinates of the incident.
W: <tone, tone, tone, tone, tone, tone, tone, tone>
M: Was your loved one [switches to second voice] Tom Molineaux?
W: Yes, he was.
M: The responsible pilotless drone will be punished by reboot at 0600 tomorrow morning. Your reference number for this claim is 4927495-F.
This entry is part of Jack Rusher’s archive, originally published January 27th, 2012, in New York.